Kim's Kounseling Korner
I am a figure competitor and have done quite a few shows, even some at
National level. I have been dating my current boyfriend for two years.
It has been very difficult for me to compete as he is not very
supportive at all. He is a male bodybuilder himself and has only 2 shows in the last 2 years. We argue all the time and he wants me to stop competing but I feel competing is an passion that I enjoy so much right now. I look forward to stepping on stage every time and enjoy the show so much! But it is damped by the fact that my boyfriend does not want me to compete. Even if I do win he won't even say much and he is constantly trying to wisk me away from socializing with other people in the industry. He also does not want me to do any shoots and if he does
approve he wants to be at the shoot watching my every move! I love him
but don't know what to do, it seems things are getting harder and harder and I want to keep on competing and being someone in this industry!
Thanks for the question Erin. You are definitely not the only woman (or man) to have an unsupportive partner.
Do NOT stop competing for him. If you quit for him you will always resent him and you will be unhappy because you gave up a passion of yours.
It's obvious he wants to control your every move and is very possessive.
When you succeed it seems to make him jealous.
A relationship like this can be toxic...like a cancer...and it will eat away at your spirit.
If you plan on getting married to this man it will only get worse. Real love means wanting the other person to be happy and empowering them to be the best person they can be-not holding them back or suppressing who they are.
I know you want this relationship to work, but sometimes you need to purge people from your life that don't have your best interest at heart...surround yourself with positive, supportive people. Hope this helps!
About the Author...
My name is Kimberly Aline Martin, but I go by the name Kim. I was born in Decatur, GA on November 1st, 1969. I've lived in Georgia my whole life and can't imagine living anywhere else. Well, maybe Hawaii...
I've been married to my best friend for over 13 years and we have two wonderful children, both boys, ages 5 and 12.
We now reside north of Atlanta and I am currently a stay at home mom.
Three things I live by:
I truly believe 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger'....every obstacle in life that is overcome makes you a stronger individual.
I also believe that everyone makes mistakes and those mistakes shouldn't be regretted, but embraced because they make you the person you become.
Lastly, be consistent-about everything in your life-and surround yourself with people that do the same.
If you need some advice please email me at: